“Sometimes I get a feeling that my clients call each other before having a session with me and agree what they are going to talk about. Just recently we talked about gorgeous women. This is not about love, it’s about your own permission to be a bright, noticeable and attractive woman,” a psychologist Elena Pasternak says.

“Feel an expensive woman in you, buy something you could never afford and then the universe will realize that you’re worth it and will give you what you want.” This is a quote from the training about women’s well-being. All these stories are about “affording” something in the end even when you have to pay the bills because it’s nothing else but a game with your fears.

“Buy luxurious underwear, you’ll become a real woman in it.” No, this quote isn’t exactly accurate. But you’ll definitely get a few sleepless nights. No, not because you’ll have a romantic evening, but because you’ll suffer from bitter thoughts about the money you’ve wasted and worry about how to survive till the end of the month with the remaining $100 in your bank account. Luxury is not about underwear, lipstick, restaurants, or high heels.

Moulin Rouge / 20th Century Fox Film Corporation, Angel Studios, Bazmark Films

Real luxury is about living the way you like! This may mean wearing panties you like, shoes you like, lipstick you like, or not wearing any of these at all. Eating food you like, being friends with people you feel comfortable with, and being in relationships for the sake of love and not for the sake of duty. It’s all about knowing when to get rid of old, unnecessary, worn-out stuff and taking care of the things that you appreciate.

My friend’s 5-year-old daughter often comes to visit with her own spoon. She can afford this luxury to eat only with her own spoon. Her mother is ashamed of this and always tries to find excuses for this. I’ve begun to take my own tableware to picnics because I don’t like to use plastic. And I don’t care what others think about me.

A luxurious life is not about the idea, “You’re worth it.” It’s about whether this thing is worth you. Should it be a cup your sister gave you, your dad’s T-shirt you like to sleep in, your Mom’s pie recipe, a kiss from a loved one, interesting books, good movies, favorite songs, fresh bed linens, and clean houses; in general, it’s all about the life that you chose for yourself.

jlo / instagram

A luxurious life is also about not punishing yourself for anything you’ve done wrong. Your tights may rip. Your friends may want to see a different movie than you do. Your significant other can leave you. It’s possible to not get that promotion you wanted. Anything can happen! If something doesn’t work out, it doesn’t affect your worthiness. This just means that things sometimes can go wrong and may not go the way you thought they would.

A luxurious life is about the opportunity of choice, like fixing your old pants or buying new ones, ordering sushi online or baking a pie yourself, watching a movie alone or going to a cafe with friends, or looking for a new job and reconsidering your goals at your current one.

Balawa Pics / EAST NEWS

A luxurious life is about living in accordance with your own rules, following your goals, not looking for excuses, not being convenient to others, and not explaining your dreams and hobbies. It’s about saying, “You can’t act like this with me,” and “I can do it!”

What do you do to feel like you’re a gorgeous woman? Share your secrets with other Enlighten readers in the comment section below.